Tag Archives: truth

Tijuana Border

Exploring Tijuana, Mexico

Tijuana, Mexico is quite literally the place of legends. When I told friends and collegues I was planning a trip across the border during my stay in San Diego responses ranged from “You’re going to get your head chopped off” to “They have the best hookers on the planet!”.

Tijuana Border

The same information was presented on the internet. There were two extremes – brave travelers singing the praises of wild Tijuana or conservative vacationers giving dire warnings of entering the third world. So – if you are considering a trip to Tijuana here are a few pieces of advice I learned during my stay.

1. Getting From San Diego to Tijuana

The good news is getting from San Diego to Tijuana is simple and inexpensive. For around $5 you can easily get from the airport to the border. Simply take the 992 (bus) to America Plaza Station. At America Plaza take the Blue line (Trolley) to the border. The last stop is San Ysidro transit station. You can walk across the border from there – just follow the Mexicans across the border. (Airport to Border = 1 hour commute)

Getting across the border is as easy as walking across. There is no one there checking paperwork or so much as guarding the entrance. However; to get back across you will need your US passport. (We’ll talk more about that later.)

2. You’re in Tijuana. Now What?

Once you’re in Tijuana you can find almost anything in this world that your heart desires. That’s both good and bad. You can purchase a women for the night, gorge yourself on cheap tacos and $2 beers, or simply enjoy the Mexican culture and buy a few trinkets from the local shops. Depending on the kind of entertainment you’re looking for – the night is yours.

Negotiating: Please buy my Shit!

No matter what you want to do plan on people soliciting you at every turn. Remember – you are a gringo. You are they kind of person that comes across the border and buys stuff. You buy trinkets, you buy food, you buy alcohol, and you have US dollars in your pocket. These shop owners and local business people will hound you relentlessly in effort to part you from your all-mighty dollar. This isn’t a bad thing just know how to deal with it.

One trick of the trade is be sure to negotiate prices. It doesn’t matter if you are buying a trinket in a shop or haggling entrance prices at a club. I found that if you are at a shop aim for 60% their asking price. Be prepared to walk away and negotiations will almost always be in your favor.

Water and Air Quality

Do not drink the water unless you want to shit yourself for the next few days. Any water that goes in your mouth should be from a bottle – this includes brushing your teeth, washing your food, and ice. When in doubt don’t eat or drink anything suspect.

Also, the air quality is horrible. For some reason the people of Central and South America refuse to keep a car with a cadalytic converter. Mexicans seem to remove this part like it’s cancer. For this reason people with asthma or allergies might want to pack an inhaler.


Women, Drugs, and Nightlife

Everything you’ve heard about Tijuana is true. Hookers are cheap, strippers are cheaper, and the beer is almost free. My advice – stick to the beer.

However, since you aren’t going to use my advice here’s some information. The strippers in Tijuana are much more forward than those in America. $5 is likely to get you more than you expected and touching seems to be encouraged. If you go to a strip club expect to be continuously solicited, groped, and harassed by naked Latin women.

Beer should cost you about $2 a piece and Tequilla around $3. If you are paying more than that find another place. Settle on prices for EVERYTHING in advance – this will help you avoid the Gringo tax. If you can, try to pay for each drink as you go or do a really good job of keeping up with your tab. A common scheme is to over charge drunken Gringos at the end of the night.

Avoid hookers and drugs. Nothing good can come from that. Most stories of murder and robberies involve some combination of these two things.

Getting Around

Pretty much everything you want to do in Tijuana is within walking distance. If you must take a cab do not use the guys immediately across the border. Use a random cab in the city (which are everywhere) – they are substantially cheaper. As with everything settle on a price beforehand. Almost everyone speaks English, but this isn’t guaranteed. Learn a few words of Spanish before you go. 

3. Getting Back to the U.S.

Now that you are sufficiently hung over and undoubtedly filthy from a night of legend-making you probably want to come home. What you probably don’t realize is that the U.S./Tijuana border is the busiest border on the planet. Hundreds of thousands of people cross DAILY! Wait times can range from 1 – 3 hours so plan accordingly. (Mornings are usually busiest)

To get back in the country you will need a U.S. passport. Border control will ask you a few questions, check your identification and you’re home free.

Hint: If the line is really long there are guys offering to expedite your trip to the front of the line for $5. They will lead you to a van and take you to the front. Mexican border authorities, who are apparently in on the scheme, will move you to the express lane. I used this option one morning when the line was unmanageable and it took about 30 minutes to cross the border (instead of 3 hours). Please use this option with caution and always be mindful who you are getting in a van with.

Once you get back across the border you can take the Trolley right back to San Diego. The trip takes about 45 minutes and cost $2.50.



Question: Do we control our own fate?

Holden and I had a long conversation about our lives the other day. We discussed the many decisions we’ve made over the years and how each of them has led us down the path to where we are today. The question came up: Do we control our own fate?

Holden was of the opinion that much of what happens to us is the result of “right place, right time” (he estimated 20%).  For example, the new job I recently landed, he argued, was largely due to being at the right place at the right time to be given the opportunity. I disagreed almost completely.

We control our own destiny, damn it!

In my experience we control our own destiny – not dumb luck or chance. Sure we encounter obstacles along the way, but over the long haul our success ultimately hinges on how we respond to them. Take Holden’s example of my new job. I would argue I was given the opportunity based on a lifetime of good decisions.

I developed leadership skills by putting myself in positions to learn them, I chose the right degree path in college based on employment outlook, I attended a reputable university, and I chose a career with a fair number of opportunities. Even with the many, many mistakes along the way the overall result of these decisions put me in a position to get the job – not chance.

Holden then brought up a good point. What about instances of pure bad luck that is out of your control like a serious injury or illness?

I concede that these obstacles do present a distinct challenge in life, but in most cases they are simply another challenge that can be overcome.

Attitude Conquers ALL

One example sticks out.

I know two individuals who were put in a wheel-chair due to the uncontrollable actions of someone else. One is my close friend’s wife. She was put in a wheel chair after being shot in the back while out to lunch. The act was completely random. In fact she had just started the career of her dreams and she was out with co-workers (a result of her good decisions, ironically).

The second person I know in a wheel chair is my mother. My mother was hit by a drunk driver and paralyzed for life.

These two women both faced life altering circumstance, but their response and subsequent lives couldn’t be more different. The young women who was shot has continued her life, is excelling in her career, and is leading a very happy life.

My Mother – well – she is not.

The difference? The character and attitude of these two individuals. This leads me to believe that while life can be difficult – ultimately it is up to you to succeed.

Am I Wrong?

But perhaps I am over-simplifying.

Their circumstances were not equal. No one’s are. The young women who was shot had an excellent home life. She was brought up with self confidence and love. Her support group was vast. Perhaps this gave her the tools she needed to succeed?

My mother was abused. She didn’t ask for it. She was taught to be self conscious and insecure.

Neither of these women chose their parents – that was dumb luck. Does our control end at our circumstances? Can we control the mental habits we are born with or that we are trained with as a child? Am I wrong?

What about people born in Somalia or other war-torn and third-world countries? I’m quite sure a great attitude will not conquer all if there is nothing to eat.

Which is it?

So which is it? Is it chance or do we control our own destiny? Maybe it’s some combination of both? Maybe Holden is a little smarter than I thought and maybe I’m just a little bit afraid to admit some things really are out of my control.


How to have a relationship with an Atheist

My wife is Catholic. She was born and raised in church. She finds comfort in the community, the family bond, and the idea that God is actively involved in her life – keeping her safe. She enjoys the traditions, loves Christmas time, uses prayer as a form of meditation when life is tough. She’s also married to a non-believer. Me.

My wife is aware of my agnosticism and honestly she doesn’t like it. She can’t relate to my way of thinking. She says I’m all logic and reason with no emotion. Of course that is partially true, but on the same token I fail to understand why she is pure emotion. In a way we balance each other out nicely. I remind her to think it through while she reminds me to have a heart. I don’t think this dynamic is unusual in a relationship.

Discussions on Religion

Sometimes we have brief discussions about religion, but I’m a bully. My thoughts are logical and well thought out – I have data points and examples to prove my thesis. My wife relies heavily on the emotional aspect, faith, and why religion just “feels” right. We quickly realize we aren’t speaking one another’s language and aren’t likely to convince the other of anything.

I don’t want my wife to be Atheist though. There’s something about her conviction that I really love. If religion is where she finds her source of strength and balance who am I to take that away. She’s peaceful and doesn’t use religion as a weapon – overall it’s a positive thing in her life. I suppose it’s no different than the way I use my own thoughts and moments of meditation to get through life.

Finding Happiness with Difference

Sometime people wonder how a believer and a non-believer can live a happy life together. The two ways of thinking seem almost diametrically opposed to one another. They’re not.

We still share the same morals. In principal I believe that many of the moral lesson taught by Jesus were good ones – just as I believe the lesson taught by the Buddha or Gandhi are good. So often instead of focusing on our difference – I focus on what works for us.

Good and Bad on Both Sides

While I am basically against the brainwash of organized religion I do not deny that there are good and bad people on both sides of the religious spectrum.   The Priest that married my wife and I is one of the most wonderful people I have ever met. He is thoughtful, educated, and everything a man of the cloth should be. Carl Sagan, an Atheist, was by all accounts also a great man. I’ll bet if the two of them met they would have a lovely conversation.

I think my overall point, from a non-religious perspective, is that life is more about who you are as a person than what your particular beliefs are. Be a good person – religious or not religious. That is how my wife and I treat our relationship (though we’ve never officially said that). My wife is a wonderful, caring, beautiful person – much better than me. I try to be a man of integrity who puts his family first – treat people with respect. We both WANT to be good people, that’s an important step.

What about the Kids?

How will I raise my kids? I’ll raise my kids with truth and without bias. I’ll teach my children what the historians say, I’ll teach them to about the world’s religions, and a variety of viewpoints. My wife will undoubtedly teach them about Christianity, the tradition, the love, and the comfort of religion. Both are important.

I have complete trust in my future children’s ability to choose what life suits them best – without my wife or I forcing them into anything. What is important to me isn’t if my children are Christian’s or Atheists, but rather if they are good people.

Giving my children the ability to think for themselves is the greatest gift a father can give. Along with that comes the trust that my future children can make decisions for themselves. Love, support, trust, and freedom – that is what my children will receive. I don’t think anyone can ask much more than that from their parents.

Where they fall on the religious spectrum will be up to them.


Conspiracy Theories

Sometimes, late at night, I find myself drifting to that strange part of YouTube. The part where extremely intelligent people find strange patterns in events and history then connect them almost ingeniously to form some sort of malicious meaning. About the time I begin to tell myself “Man, there might be something to this.” I realize I’m tired, delirious, and it’s time to go to bed.

Sometimes I do stumble upon a few interesting things. Here are a couple of confirmed “conspiracies” if you are interested in such things.

MK Ultra

Project MKUltra is the code name for a covert research operation experimenting in the behavioral engineering of humans (mind control) through the CIA’s Scientific Intelligence Division. The program began in the early 1950s, was officially sanctioned in 1953, was reduced in scope in 1964, further curtailed in 1967 and “officially halted” in 1973. The program engaged in many illegal activities; in particular it used unwitting U.S. and Canadian citizens as its test subjects, which led to controversy regarding its legitimacy. MKUltra involved the use of many methodologies to manipulate people’s individual mental states and alter brain functions, including the surreptitious administration of drugs (especially LSD) and other chemicals, hypnosis, sensory deprivation, isolation, verbal and sexual abuse, as well as various forms of torture.

Libor Scandal

The Libor scandal is a series of fraudulent actions connected to the Libor (London Interbank Offered Rate) and also the resulting investigation and reaction. The Libor is an average interest rate calculated through submissions of interest rates by major banks in London. The scandal arose when it was discovered that banks were falsely inflating or deflating their rates so as to profit from trades, or to give the impression that they were more creditworthy than they were. Libor underpins approximately $350 trillion in derivatives. It is controlled by the British Bankers’ Association (BBA).

Bilderberg Group

The Bilderberg Group, Bilderberg conference, or Bilderberg Club is an annual, unofficial, invitation-only conference of approximately 120 to 140 guests from North America and Western Europe, most of whom are people of influence. About one-third are from government and politics, and two-thirds from finance, industry, labour, education and communications. Meetings are closed to the public.

Here’s a list of 33 more if you’re bored.

Over 50% of my income to taxation: Why I’m mad as hell and you should be too!

I think we’ve been bamboozled. We’ve been tricked by catch phrases and fun words like “liberty” and “freedom”. We’ve been fooled into thinking we are somehow better off than everyone else. We’ve been lied to and told that our “capitalist” economy is the strongest, our people the most free, and our opportunity the most rich. Lies.

We are as taxes, as spied on, as lied to, and as manipulated as almost any other Government on Earth. We are kept fat and happy with illusions. By the media telling us how bad it is everywhere else, by “Honey Boo Boo” and cheap hamburgers. Too fat and brainwashed to care. To apathetic to do anything about it.

“At least we aren’t over there.”  We say.

A First For Me

Today marks the first major tax hike I have experienced since the start of my career. I’m mad. I can’t justify this setback internally. Why am I giving away more security for myself and family to an entity that is making no investment in me? How do I benefit? My family? My community? How can I give away over 50% of my income and still the Government ask for take more?

Payroll/Income Taxes. Property Taxes. Sales Taxes. Communication (phone/cell phone) Taxes. Social Security Taxes. State Taxes. City Taxes. Fuel and Energy Taxes. Taxes to pay for my car tags each year. Increased costs of goods via trade and import taxes. Fees for passports and licences. Inheritance Tax. The list goes on forever.

The myth is that the Government is spreading the wealth. Helping the poor. Taxing the rich to give to the needy. Robin Hood. This is a lie – not just because I say so, but because it’s a fucking lie. This increased tax is for everyone. Not just by means of increased costs of goods and services, but actually and really a higher tax for nearly everyone.

Over Taxed, Under Serviced

We may all see at least a 2% loss of take home pay. Is it fair that a guy making $50,000 is expected to survive off of $25,000 a year (or less!)? That person would be considered fairly poor by almost any standard. At what point are we over taxed and under serviced?

Is that point when our nation is 15 Trillion in debt? Is that point when our country has recession as a direct result of our Government’s fiscal policy? Is that point when other nations hate us because our Government instills a feeling of dread and terror on them in the form of Drones and military superiority? Is that point when a man who takes home $25,000 a year is considered middle class? What are we thinking?

Obama promised no new taxes for the middle class. The super-rich begged for more taxes, it seemed. Yet today, while I watch my income fall by at least 2% I see the stock market fly upward at over 200 points. Someone is getting rich today, not me. Someone is laughing about the end of the fiscal cliff, not me. The super-rich are more rich than ever – smart enough to avoid the Government and capitalize on new legislation. We’ve been fooled.

Where do we go from here?

I don’t know. I just want people to stand up and say: “This isn’t right.” Something is broken. We have to admit that when a Government takes by force half your income, there is a problem.

You can’t leave the country. Too much social stigma, too expensive, to much Government, too costly personally. You can’t complain. You are labelled crazy or jailed. You can’t refuse to participate – you will be breaking the law and jailed.

To be honest, nothing will happen. Most people will be happily abused until they become uncomfortable. Until they become hungry, until their cable is shut off, until they can’t drive to Wal-Mart, until it’s too late.

For now, I’ll keep complaining here. A blog no one reads anyways.

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3 Key Components to an Awesome Relationship

Today Holden sent me a very insightful email that I would like to share with the world. 

I think the key to getting along and having a fruitful relationship with your spouse, family, co-workers and anyone else has three essential elements.

1. Look Beyond Yourself

The first element is, you and the person you are trying to have the harmonious relationship with need to be able to look beyond themselves. They have to be able to recognize their own bias and remove the cloudiness of their own personal perspective and see other’s perspective.

For example, I never realized just how boxed in and self centered I was until I worked at GISTech and really got my ass handed to me over and over by my two senior co-workers who were as self centered as I was. When you have three extremely self centered people who always think their perspective is the only perspective, its going to spell disaster, and I was the low man on the totem pole so I got shit on there and bullied. I think this might be where Stoicism could play a helpful role. Removing yourself emotionally to free yourself to survey the surrounding environment.

I remember I use to trash my wife’s dad the way your wife will freely trash yours, then I finally realized that despite everything I said being blatantly true and her feeling the exact same way, maybe I should just leave the bashing to her. I still take jabs at the guy, but I shouldn’t. I should just leave it to her, because she really doesn’t need me to remind her that her dad sucks. She knows it, she lived it. It took stepping outside my own little box to realize that.

2. Roll with the Punches

The next element is part reciprocation, part just letting shit roll off your back.

Sometimes people say things that really do not jive with or annoy you. You just have to learn to let it roll off your back, but the other person also needs to learn to reciprocate and return the favor when you’re being the asshole. I think my and your wife’s issue is that she doesn’t reciprocate well. I feel like she expects all of us to simply let anything she says roll off our backs, but she doesn’t take it well when we say anything that slights her in the least. Then I eventually get to a point that I stop letting things roll off my back, and she thinks I’m bullying her and hate her guts. I don’t really how to address the problem. If it were you and I we’d just tell the other to quit being an asshole.

My wife and I used to have the same problem, She’d take my bullshit all day, but then if she dished a little, I would blow up on her ass. Hell, it still happens sometimes. Its a lifelong growing process. I’m still guilty of dishing more than I take sometimes. Its just important that you don’t let me get away with it if I am.

3. Admit when You’re Wrong

The final element is admitting when you’re wrong.

When I do something really shitty (like punching a hole in the wall, throwing a tantrum… etc) I’ve learned just to suck it up and admit I’m a douchebag. Fuck it. I’m a douchebag. The first step to a de-douching yourself is admitting your own douchiness. Some people just can’t admit it. Some people really can’t stand to lose face or look foolish. You have to get over it if you’re going to have successful relationships. You have to learn to admit you’re wrong.

So, there you have it. This is what I’ve been personally working on. The lucky part of my marriage is that my wife just seems to naturally have most of this down and she’s very receptive to me just calling her out, as you are. I’m the one who needs most of the work. Luckily, I’ve grown up enough over the last few years to finally realize it. In your case, the tables are turned I think. I think you know everything I said above to be true and you follow the philosophy. The next step is just bringing your wife along with you.

A New Year. An Old Man.

“You better give your Peepaw a hug, I don’t think he has much longer left.” I told my wife.

His eyes were watering, he was struggling to breathe, and sometimes I would see him shake a little as he was trying to move around. The rest of the house was rustling about almost like they didn’t notice the poor old man coming to terms with his own demise.

It was only a year ago, Christmas time last year, that I had spent time with my wife’s Great Grandfather. He seemed so much more alive then, but now his body seems ready to give out. To let go of the life still in his eyes, to rest.

I wonder to myself if he feels alone. The children running around the house, parents chatting about nothing, but Peepaw sits alone in a comfortable recliner enjoying what will probably be his last Christmas. My observations are full of mixed emotions.

Here sits a man who has had a full life, much better than most. He has been married to his dear wife for over 60 years, he has started and handed down a successful business, and has a wonder family surrounding him. What more could a man ask for in his final days. How much more peacefully could anyone go?

On the other hand I feel a hint of dread. The curtains are closing, his inevitable death is coming quickly, but he is alone in his journey in this. No one can truly empathize with what he must be feeling – it must be a little strange that everyone moves around so carelessly going about their daily business as he knows that these are his final hours. Literally his final moments of existence on this planet. Everyone pretends not to notice – getting dessert almost seems more important.

Of course it’s not that no one cares. He’s an 89 year old man and his death is something almost everyone has accepted – even if it’s just subconsciously. Something unsaid we have all agreed to. Inevitability. Finality.

Still part of me feels like we should all be crowded around him – appreciating the man and his life – while he’s still coherent enough to appreciate the gesture. Part of me wants to lean in and whisper a question: “What is the one thing I should know about life?” Oh the knowledge, the wisdom, he must have during these final hours. Regrets, pride, advice.

If there is any sort of afterlife. Any karma. Any higher power. Or even if there isn’t. Let it be known that a young man noticed you that day – your final Christmas. Maybe its some comfort, some justice. A young man unrelated by blood, a young man that never said more than a few words to you, a young man who only shook your hand and stared you in the eyes and tried to communicate at that moment that I appreciated your existence, noticed, cared.

I didn’t ask anything, you never lectured me, but I learned a lot from you.