This past Friday I hit the town with my co-author Atty and another one of our best chums who we’ll call Huck- due to his free spirited nature when he drinks.
After kicking back a few beers I found myself yawning by 9pm. I was having a good time but was ready to go home. It was a long week that had started with business travel on Sunday afternoon and I hadn’t been home one day that week before 7pm.
Then in walked “big Al”, a close friend and co-worker of Huck’s. Al was a very attractive southern belle who was accompanied by her equally attractive sister, her unassumingly beautiful sister-in-law and a feisty bestie with a knack for belting out sarcastic quips the way Barry Bonds used to belt out homeruns at the height of his career.
We paired with the quartet the way peanut butter does jelly when sandwiched between two soft slices of Wonder Bread. I realized at a certain point that the reason we all got along so well was no one was trying to impress the other. We simply gelled.
There was no end game of getting laid, no ulterior motive of having another encounter at a later date or even anticipation of landing a good night kiss. In fact, we spent much of the night talking about spouses, children and family.
My time with our new female friends helped me come to a few interesting realizations. I think I finally discovered what real women want. And by real, I mean women of substance. A woman I would actually be interested in if I were single and looking.
What Women Really Want in a Man
Humility- A strong woman doesn’t require a man; she stands on her own two feet. Once you reach approximately 30 years old, you start to realize that the woman who does need a man to survive probably isn’t one that you care to be involved with. This makes bragging unnecessary and unattractive.
If you’re accomplished, there is no reason to point it. No one likes a one upper. No one likes the man who has to be top dog and authoritative. Instead, your authority should shine in your cool and quiet demeanor, during normal conversation.
Frankness and honesty with thyself- I accepted not too long ago that I am not necessarily the smartest, most ambitious or politically savvy guy in the room. I realized that maybe instead I am more adept in other areas like team building, technical tasks and building relationships.
Bottom line, I learned to be frank and honest with myself. I learned to accept who I am and stop chasing something I am not. Strong women love a man who is honest with himself and isn’t afraid to show it.
Humor- E.E. Cummings wrote, “The most wasteful of days is one without laughter.”
I believe having a good sense of humor is essential to happiness. I believe laughter can cure some disease and ailment. I believe not being able to laugh at yourself is one of the most serious of shortcomings a person can possess.
A strong woman loves a man who can gracefully self-deprecate himselve while remaining confident. It displays humility, emotional intelligence and a certain degree of self-control.
A man who can have a laugh and make those around him laugh is a man who possesses emotional intelligence.
Chivalry- Young men today don’t understand how to be gentlemen. The ‘selfie generation’ is characterized by self-centered individuals paying little attention to anyone other than on him/her-self.
Chivalry extends beyond holding open doors or offering your coat to a lady on a chilly evening. It extends to paying attention to detail and remembering the little things as well. It extends to small gestures of kindness. Little acts of kindness and acute attention make all the difference in the world.
I caught the attention of my wife while working alongside her as a server while in college. Every Friday and Saturday night, I’d look at the side work chart, see what her side work was for the evening then prep for her before she could begin.
Later, I’d take note of what her favorite coffee drink was from Starbucks or her favorite pizza toppings and surprise her by ordering for her on dates.
It is that attention to detail that really catches the attention of a lady and shows her that you get her and that she is more than just an object to you.